The Bloody Mary

“The only cure for a real hangover is death.”
― Robert Benchley

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2015 is IN THE BOOKS.    We crash landed that wound up year into a fiery heap didn’t we?  Walked away without looking back?     And then woke in the morning to a fresh scrubbed 2016 – full of promise and … headache.
From the dawn of the drink humans have been seeking out the elusive cure for the dreaded hangover.  Aside from death, as quoted above, there is really only time…

Bloody Mary Time!

This classic drink has evolved from an odd serendipitous mash of American prohibition, Russian refugee Smirnov who fled to Paris and brought vodka, a comedian named George Jessel who decided his hangover needed both tomato juice cocktail AND a shot, and a Parisian bartender Pete Petoit who fancied it up into a real drink (nod to Chicago for throwing in a unique “stirrer” celery stalk).   Petoit worked at Harry’s New York Bar en Paris (a real Manhattan bar dismanted and re-built overseas so traveling Americans could flip a finger at the 18th amendment), where our old friend Ernie Hemingway knocked back morning cocktails. Hemingway then took Mary viral
in his travels to Hong Kong, to Africa, to everywhere Hemingway drank…which was everywhere.  That makes the Bloody Mary (originally called a Red Snapper) the original international breakfast of champions.  Hemingway is quoted as saying:

“Make a pitcher of Blood Marys (any smaller amount is worthless)”

He’s right, so make this as big as you can because it’s messy business and it’s good to have more than one.

NEED

Bloody Mary mix. I recommend Master of Mixes. It has everything you need in it already, if you just want a good, tasty, lazy Mary. It also doesn’t have High Fructose Corn Syrup (read your ingredients).

Vodka. Absolut Peppar is pretty cool if you like spicy. I chose Skinny Girl nude vodka because it’s actually a little weaker (70 proof) than normal 80 proof vodka. The Bloody was created because vodka is, well, booooring. The snoozefest of booze. The fun is in the additions to the cocktail.

Margarita salt (for the rim). Lime. Horseradish and Lea & Perrins Worcestershire (wooster_shire)(you’re welcome) sauce. Celery salt. Green Olives. Celery stalks. Tabasco sauce.

Optional: Shrimp. Sharp cheddar cubes. Pickles. Chicken wings. Tiny hamburgers. Grilled cheese triangles. Steak. Tiramisu. Movie popco…ok I’m kidding.

MAKE IT:
This is the easiest drink to make, and you really get to make it your own. Rim your glass with salt, fill with ice…and begin.

Use a shaker (pitcher if you’re Hemingway). Liquor is always first in. Do NOT skimp on vodka. Two shots per drink is fine…more is fine. The mix is hard to cut through unless you are using V8.

DO NOT USE V8.

Fill with mix.
Now slosh it around, stir it, mix it up. Start shaking your chosen spices in. Two dashes of Tabasco per drink is usually good. Worcestershire sauce is tricky. Do it if you want the Mary meaty. A dash or two in a pitcher. This applies for horseradish. Don’t forget most mixes contain this stuff…don’t over salt. Keep taste testing to make sure you like it. Squeeze a lime wedge into your glass. Shake some celery salt if you have it. You can even add a dash of dark beer (our bar secret).
Pour the mixture over ice into your pint glass (any tall glass will work), and then have fun with things on picks. Don’t forget a straw to get to the drink through your creation. Plop in a cut celery stalk and BAM! You’re on your way to Vitamins and hydration…and vodka!

Pro tip- NEVER order a Bloody Mary on an airplane. It is really just tomato juice and vodka, and we are not animals.

Good luck with your hangover. Good luck with 2016.
Cheers!

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tipsyshaker

Hello! I'm a Southwestern transplant in New England and a bartender transplant into Momdom. I love holidays, tequila, a perfectly poured Guinness and long walks to my chiropractor.

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