I love to curse. I LOVE it. It is such a favorite way to color my statements, make them funnier, shockier, edgier. I remember when I first let out a tirade of expletives – I was in the eighth grade. My cat escaped, and I found her up a tree, and she refused to come down. “GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE YOU SHIT!” I yelled.
And then silence. I stood in shock.
ooooh.
Oh that felt so good. So I continued. She sat, as cats do, judging my insignificance as I blasted out to the night sky.
“You bleeping little bleep bleeeep bleeeeep beep bleep ba beep beep!”
It wasn’t even making sense anymore…I just wanted to get all of them out. All the words I was not allowed to use because they were “adult” words. They felt SO good coming off the tongue. I now could harness them…their power…I could step into a whole new genre of verbal impact!
Then I learned where and when they could be placed. Don’t use them at most workplaces or you look uneducated, but throw them around with the boss if you are both frustrated at someone else. Do use them when you bartend as it gives you power over drunk men. Don’t use them with your Mom and Dad except for damn and hell to start… work shit in later. DO use them with your friends – and at some point the F bomb will be the most important and multidimensional word you will ever use, and you will cherish it and its diversity.
So this brings me to the fact that I am a very accomplished “potty mouth”, and I now have a three month old son. I’m not at the point of editing my language yet…but it will come…and when it does I’m wondering what we should edit – when – and how we can explain “dirty words” to the munch so he understands proper placement, and doesn’t come out as a trashy individual. I suppose the F bomb (my faaaaavorite) must go, at least for a good decade or so. Or is it possible to still use language that is “adult” with adults (as my parents often did…f bomb not included for their generation) and explain to the child they cannot use those words until they are older? Really, “screw you/darnit/shiz” don’t sound any better being parroted now do they? And I don’t want this poor kid getting into his first fight and yelling “You stupid butt!” at the other kid. (ewww first fight…that is a whole other blog)
Thoughts? Advice? Just say F#ck it all and don’t censor?
personally, i think every child’s first sentence should be “YOU’RE A STUPID FUR-BALL COUGHING FELINE” and that fur-ball coughing feline should be considered curse words. it’d be a nice transition.
I’m not a parent, but I’m an elementary school music teacher with 433 students. A kindergartener (5) walked up to me and said, “Tommy said the S word!” And I was like, “really? Did he use it to hurt someone’s feelings?” And she said, “uhh… no?” So I asked, “What exactly did he say?” And she said, “He said, ‘I hate these stupid shoe laces.'” I was just like, “Ruby, go back to your seat.”
So at lunch I was telling the art teacher this story and she was like, “You should have said, ‘Ruby STUPID is not the S word. The s word is SHIT, and don’t be such a tattle tale. I don’t need to hear about all the stupid shit other kids do.'”
Good luck. My 4 year old son’s favorite song is A7X Nightmare, the EXPLICIT version. You will be both mortified and proud when he drops his first F bomb.
Dude. We were potty mouths in college, and one of my friends had a young daughter who knew all of the adult words because we’d get drunk and not edit our language. The one time she used it, her mother turned calmly to her and said, “Honey, those are words that only adults use, and when you turn eighteen, you, too, can use these words. But until then, you are still a child and will not use those words.” Her daughter (who was awesome and sweet and smart and just an all-around good kid at three) never used them again. She’s now eighteen and still just an awesome kid.
Or you can be like my brother and his wife. They don’t edit their language at all. So when my nieces visited me in Cruces and we went swimming in the pool, they tried to get Drake to go in. When he wouldn’t, my oldest niece looked at him and said, “C’mon, uncle Drake, don’t be a pussy.” I had to hide under the table and choke on my laughter silently until I could recover enough to tell her that those were adult words.
I love your post! That is soo me too. I love cursing. So much that I hold the record for best curser in my office. But I work with a bunch of guys. With kid #1, there has never been an issue. We said they were adult words. He dropped a few choice words in the car once or twice (can you say mini road rage) and we all moved on. I still curse. But with kid #2, I’m not so sure we’ll be so lucky. He’s already imitated hubby’s use of the word damn, and he can’t even pronounce it. But he said it with such gusto and glee for 20 minutes, I figure I’ve got a couple of months to clean up my act. Good luck. Only time will tell which boat your family will fit in.
Hahahhahahaha! I am picturing your kiddos cursing and it is cracking me up. That may be a problem…it makes me laugh to see the little’s say bad words. Yes, only time will tell!
Thanks for the laugh and the imagery on the mini road rage, Jodi!