I love to curse.  I LOVE it.  It is such a favorite way to color my statements, make them funnier, shockier, edgier.  I remember when I first let out a tirade of expletives – I was in the eighth grade.  My cat escaped, and I found her up a tree, and she refused to come down.  “GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE YOU SHIT!”  I yelled.

And then silence.  I stood in shock.


Oh that felt so good.  So I continued.  She sat, as cats do, judging my insignificance as I blasted out to the night sky.

“You bleeping little bleep bleeeep bleeeeep beep bleep ba beep beep!”

It wasn’t even making sense anymore…I just wanted to get all of them out.  All the words I was not allowed to use because they were “adult” words.  They felt SO good coming off the tongue.  I now could harness them…their power…I could step into a whole new genre of verbal impact!

Then I learned where and when they could be placed.  Don’t use them at most workplaces or you look uneducated, but throw them around with the boss if you are both frustrated at someone else.  Do use them when you bartend as it gives you power over drunk men.  Don’t use them with your Mom and Dad except for damn and hell to start… work shit in later.   DO use them with your friends – and at some point the F bomb will be the most important and multidimensional word you will ever use, and you will cherish it and its diversity.

So this brings me to the fact that I am a very accomplished “potty mouth”, and I now have a three month old son.  I’m not at the point of editing my language yet…but it will come…and when it does I’m wondering what we should edit – when – and how we can explain “dirty words” to the munch so he understands proper placement, and doesn’t come out as a trashy individual.  I suppose the F bomb (my faaaaavorite) must go, at least for a good decade or so.   Or is it possible to still use language that is “adult” with adults (as my parents often did…f bomb not included for their generation) and explain to the child they cannot use those words until they are older? Really, “screw you/darnit/shiz” don’t sound any better being parroted now do they?  And I don’t want this poor kid getting into his first fight and yelling “You stupid butt!” at the other kid.    (ewww first fight…that is a whole other blog)

Thoughts?  Advice?  Just say F#ck it all and don’t censor?