Archives for category: Besties

I won the roommate lottery my freshman year in college. I moved into the Alumni Honor dorm, and acquired an entire floor of the coolest girls (and downstairs guys) I could’ve ever hoped for. My roommate Anna and my suite-mate Debbie have had their “projects” already…and that leaves my suite-mate Tiffany Latner. And no offense to all the other ladies I’ve ever lived with – ever – but Tiffany was pretty much the most interesting person I’ve ever lived with. (I think they’ll agree)

Things I learned from Tiff: 1. You can walk anywhere on earth and for any amount of time. You just have to take the first step. 2. Always taste test flavored body gels on your roommate’s arm first. 3. When in doubt, put your sexiest lingerie on over your t-shirt to work on complex math equations in the study hall. 4. Orange heels are ALWAYS apropos. 5. Classic Rock and a jean jacket make for perfect Saturday afternoons. 7. Slaughter lab exists – keep your blood splattered boots outside – pig hair is removed in a giant dryer – WINDOW COWS – different religions slaughter animals differently – but in the end it’s ALLLL BBQ. 8. You can work in the lab for food safety for just so long, you can work at a plastic bag factory for just so long, you can always go back to learn something new and change your life. 9. When you really want to swing dance, put your feet in a box on the floor and make a really tall friend. 10. Gentle people need animals, the outdoors, paint, and understanding.

Tiffany is a ‘tough on the outside smooshy on the inside’ soul. She is incredibly smart, she is wickedly funny, beautiful wispy blonde, she wants people around her to feel comfortable and she will be uncomfortable to make that happen. She speaks her mind. She loves music and noise but grows in quiet meditation. She is this quirky sunshine that makes you question why…she laughs at the darkest things and in doing so lightens the room. I’ve learned so much from her about holding in, letting go, the complexity of being. Nowadays we message each other here and there and try and figure out what is going on in the world and in our worlds. As we’ve both learned through experience, it is as wonderfully unpredictable as it ever was.

❤ Thank you for being my quirkiest painting box dance toes friend.‪#‎TheFacebookProject‬

Alone, and with her sisters the twins (melia and manda)


Katrina Barney and I met on my first night training as the new bartender at My Brothers Place. At the end of the night I had my inaugural shot of Rumplemintz with her, and then we moved in together and lived happily ever after (it’s really my thing, see…I meet someone, we do a shot, we move in…)

We wound up being THE BEST of friends/sisters/confidants. I have a hard time trying to condense all the memories into one brief story with some people, and Katrina is no exception. Aside from persuading me to leave one of the most deeply unhappy relationships of my life and break into my future, she also spans a decade of being right by my side in choosing to go get that Masters in Entomology (I mean, so it didn’t go as planned, but…she prompted my return to academia and a feeling like I could really do more), in living with me at our favorite favorite house ever – hosting some of the most wonderful gatherings – sitting up until the wee-est of hours discussing politics and history – holding allll the hands as our mutual best friend Lisa lived with and died from cancer.

Katrina and I have shaken our heads at each other’s boy choices, and applauded some. When one of us had the day off from the bar, we would go to the bar and wait until the other closed up. I was her Plus One cross-country wedding date. We were the cutest Harry Potter and Wonder Woman ever. She was my “surprise present” from Jim in Boston one year where we tore up the Duck Boats, and she and I have visited each other each year since. She is incredibly smart but always leads with her heart, and I cannot say it has lead her wrong. She went from a Geography Grad mapper to a Nurse – and because of a very specific incident where Katrina “took care of” an injured rodent from Lucky dog once – I really knew she had that in her. She is the only person that understands Southland Tales with me. We made a pact once, during the “end of days” craze in movies and media, that we would never kill the other for food. That’s big you guys. That’s real love. (I also bring it up because it contractually still stands and I don’t want her to forget)

She is my garage party moving day Boston Commons Yeungling West Virginia NMSU travel luck Billiards Caldo desert soul mate. We really do always pick right back up – in life and in conversation.

I don’t know how I ever could’ve made it through my thirties without you, seriously.
Every time I visit you I promise to always leave a little something behind because it means I love you 😀

❤ Thank you for being my best friend. ‪#‎TheFacebookProject‬


Joy Forehand Peaches. I met Joy through her friends Sylvia and Sherry. I seem to remember at the time there being this overabundance of men around us all the time…men for days….raining men….and finally I started having girl friends around. Joy and I became close – maybe not right away (she told me later that I was a little too alpha haha…I was – I’m so sorry!), but over about a year she was part of my pack. It’s strange really, to think back when we were college friends, because we spent so much time enjoying drinks and trips and dancing happy hours, but the reason Joy is one of the most important people in all of the revelry is that she was always incredibly honest and real with me. She was the only friend of mine (outside of my Heather, Monica, Lisa circle) from all those years that called me after my rape. It sounds like DUH of course she did, but I mean…everyone was afraid to talk to me, and there was Joy – doing what she has always done…cutting the bullshit and just calling me to let me know she was there. She did that when Holt and I ended our relationship, when everyone was isolating and weird – she took me out for martinis in fact, to that bar in old town Albuquerque with the tree growing through the middle of it and said HERE IS THE DEAL….NO ONE GETS TO CUT YOU OUT OF US. Us meaning our group…the group that I still call friends – most very dear friends, and very much so because of Joy. (she’s like a mob boss that one… )
When I flew to Boston with Jim and saw my very last bits of New Mexico, it was Joy’s house with the Forehands that I stayed, she was one of my very last hugs goodbye. I wouldn’t have that any other way.
She doesn’t let anything get in the way of what she wants…she is very pointed, very sure, she has five year plans, she has expectations, and she gets shit done. I was raised by a very strong mother, and I think that is why I surround myself with very strong women, and Joy has always been that for and to me. She was the first of all our friends to have a baby – and still made sure that we all saw her, saw Jeff and the kids, she incorporated us in as family as much as anyone could. She taught me a great deal about how to deal with the difficult change from being an independent and focused modern woman, to being a modern mom. When I was pregnant, and everyone sent me wonderful gifts for Finn, she sent me special lotion for me, and nail polish Juliet picked out – it was something so incredibly important in a world of teddy bears and “it’s a boy” gear, that I had this little gift just for me – a reminder that I was important to her. She is a woman warrior spirit.
She is a dancer. She is beautiful. She is a politician. She is a master. She is a perfectionist. She is a carver of paths. Very few people have been so understanding of me in such an understated way.

❤ Thank you for being my friend. #TheFacebookProject
With all this girl power I’ll post a pic I took of you and the girls when I stayed with you for the 4th of July one year. I cannot wait to help them check into their dorms at Harvard. 😉 Love you!!!


Monica Fullerton is one of those besties that is a lifeline. It’s in her nature. She is a crisis counselor. We met once prior to my moving to Albuquerque and when I moved back to Las Cruces, we both showed up one fine Karaoke eve at (where else) the Hilton bar – our eyes met – we both did that girl squeal eeeee thing – and after that “where have you been all my life” moment we decided to be each other’s people. You know that moment…when you find your pack? She is my Hilton Sister. I’ll give you a brief rundown of the things that make up “Blonde Monica” – She’s blonde. Bombshell saucy minx blonde. Coors Lights and keep em comin. Country Country Country, but she knows every single word to every hard core rap song you can bring up. When you spend more than a minute with her you start saying “Y’all, Howdy, Ain’t, If’n, Hoooweeee, Yeehaw, and Pop my gat in the 5-0” ….that last one may be a stretch. She is a blue heeler whisperer, a horse whisperer, she worked in horse therapy for years and works with kids now shaping their futures. She drives a truck, and will always drive a truck.
Monica is my joy sister and all things accepting. I know all her dirty little secrets and she knows mine and I couldn’t even tell you the stories because we would both be laughing too hard. She has caught me trying to get in and out of trouble too many times, and vice versa. TROUBLE. we were it.
Monica has given me the best advice I could ever have had (“You go, you go to Europe, and if the Aussie is an asshole – so what he’s CUTE – and you have the best story to tell your grand kids ever!”…..I have a great story because of you now)… she has hugged me when I needed a hug (right before I entered the courtroom and had to hold on to you)… she has laughed so hard and made me laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe…when I ACTUALLY couldn’t breathe (my damn allergic hospitalization day) she took me to the ER… when we’ve needed each other near or far we call each other. I get little feelings about if she’s doing okay or not… She has the only phone number I have memorized to this day (well Heather’s too but…haha) I love her mamma. I love her fur babies. I lived with her for a few months so she counts as one of my 3587 roommates! She threw my 30th birthday party where my ex got me a wallet as a gift (empty). She was the last person to leave my going away party in LC.
Let’s see…I could go on forever. She has perfect feet! Seriously. We used to flash each other in the ladies restroom hahaha. She is kind, she is GORGEOUS, she is so vibrant. I ….probably should wrap it up… (she would loudly yell THAT’S WHAT HE SAID right there).

I love you. My TexNewMex Bestie Blondie Mon. I’ll shut up now.
Come visit me and sit on a beach you’ll god damned love it here.

Hilton Sistas Por Vida!m